“I praise You because I am wonderfully and fearfully made.” Psalm 139:14
Who Defines You?
I saw a post on Pinterest recently. It was a simple piece of notebook paper and on it read, “Let the One Who created You be the One Who defines You.”* It struck my heart instantly, because this is the main struggle of my life. To let God and God alone define who I am.
My Greatest Ministry?
Another thing I have heard in the recent past is the thought that our greatest ministry will come out of our greatest pain**. If that’s the case, than this, my friends, is my greatest ministry–learning to believe, truly 100% believe what God says about me. I can tell you right now, if this happens, and I am praying it does, it will be no less than a miracle from our loving God.
My Current State
Right now, though? Right now, I have years and years of feeling completely unworthy stored up in my heart and causing a great amount of hurt.
I feel unworthy of having friends, because I failed recently at a relationship that was important to me. As a result, I avoid social interactions beyond the cursory ones, as much as possible.
I feel unworthy of displaying my true self, because I really believe that I am not worthy of being loved and accepted on my own.
I feel unworthy of doing God’s work, because of the mistakes I have made.
I feel unworthy of life itself, because my body is far from perfect.
I feel unworthy of sharing my gifts and talents, because I don’t really believe they are anything anyone else would be interested in them.
I would like to change that–all of that, because this is NOT what the Bible says. Whether I feel it or not, it is NOT true. My head knows all of that. My heart is stubborn and foolish. It has processed and believed these lies for so long, it doesn’t know how to do anything else.
My Heart is a Liar!
God’s Word speaks to that though, doesn’t it? Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
My heart is deceitful. It is flat-out lying to me and I am ready to call it out on the basis of the absolute TRUTH of God’s Word! It is going to be a process, I know. Quite frankly, I am not looking forward to it. Getting rid of the hurt in my heart is probably not going to feel very good. There is much there I have stomped down and pressed and ignored and I know part of the process will be unpacking all of it in the light of truth.
It’s Time to Find the Truth!
But, it will be worth it, so I have begun a new thing–serving an eviction notice to the lies that have taken up residence in my heart for far too long. It is time to clean house! How? Through lots of prayer and reading God’s Word.
First, I have started a topical Bible study to see what the Bible actually says about me, which is the only true Word on who I really am. Also, I am praying, begging, God to bring healing to my life. I also have some precious people praying for me regarding this.
These are the tools I am using, because I am ready. I am ready to the let the One Who created me be the One Who defines me. He has, you know. He has defined who I am and I am ready to become all He wants me to be.
Let Your Creator Define You
I know this is something He wants for me. He wants it for you too. I have only to look around to me to know I am far from the only person struggling with knowing my worth, but I am so thankful we can all find it in the definition given by our Creator.
All-Mighty Father, You created me and You defined me. Lord, help me to live my life based on only the words You say, including the things You have said about me. I want to be free from the hurt of this and I want to put you first in my life, not these feelings of unworthiness. I know I am worthy because You have given me worth. Thank You Lord. You give me all I have. Amen!
*I am not sure about the source for this and I am sad about that, but I think it is from The Shine on Blog by Payton Johnston. I will update if I find another author of this quote.
**The original quote came from Pastor Rick Warren and he said, “Your greatest ministry will likely come from your greatest pain.”